March 20. Ever since I found out the date Chris will find
out where we’re going for residency, I haven’t been able to get it out of my
head. All I can think about is that little sheet of paper he will receive on
March 20 could have almost any city in
the United States on it.
Here’s the thing: I’m used to change and take it fairly
well. I have moved 18 times in my life and have never really been attached to a
house or a place. Part of me craves a new adventure. The problem is that I’m a
planner. We will find out where we’re going on March 20 and will need to move
sometime in June. It takes me longer than that to plan our vacations!
My biggest struggle so far is focusing on the present. Right
now, I am completely focused on the possibility of moving. I keep thinking this will be the last time we will go to the
State Fair or this is the last time
it will be this easy to spend Christmas with both of our families. I have
been asked about summer plans and can’t give clear answers. My boss knows my
situation, and the thought of leaving my job makes me want to cry.
However, these anxious thoughts aren’t actually getting me
anywhere. Worrying about the future is not going to make March 20 arrive any
quicker. The truth is, even though I am anxious about not having a lot of time
to plan once we find out where Chris matches, this is such an exciting time.
Chris is graduating from medical school and is ready to take
the next step forward in fulfilling his passion. He is traveling all over the
country, interviewing with programs to find the right fit for him. I am his
travel agent, booking flights and researching the cities. He receives new interview invitations
every day, and we get to pick where he goes. It’s a time filled with many
possibilities, and if I keep worrying about things I can’t change, I will miss
it.
My goal is to enjoy this season of life and live in the
present. Life is beautiful, and I don’t want to miss a single second.
