The Hardest Post I’ve Ever Written

I have tried to be as honest and authentic as possible on my blog, and lately, I have failed. As much as I love blogging about life and travel, it’s been hard to have the energy to write when for the last few months, I’ve had days where I was in so much pain, I had to work all day from my bed.

Even though I have a blog, I have always been a private person. Only a handful of friends know I blog, and I have only recently told my family. That’s why it’s been so hard to share details about my health.

That said, I love the blog community and have been so thankful for the support I have received. Chris has also encouraged me to share with y’all, so here goes nothing.

What’s going on:
I have a massive endometrioma (ovarian cyst) taking over the left half of my body. It is currently over 18 cm. and has pushed the organs from the left side of my body to my right side. It’s also pushing down on my kidneys and bladder.

How I feel:
Other than the fact that I look 18 months pregnant when I’m not, I have crazy back pain on the left side of my body. I sometimes have a hard time walking short distances.

What’s next: 
Here’s where it really gets complicated. I’m going to have to have a complex surgery with the possibility of several types of surgeons involved. My doctor here said she couldn’t do it until mid-June, but she doesn’t think I could handle driving in a car to Texas a few weeks later. Her suggestion is to wait and have the surgery when we move back to Texas. I’m hesitant because it means we have to find new doctors (which means a waiting period), wait until our insurance starts (July 1), and we would have to start over on my deductible (which really stinks after paying for an MRI). Plus, it means the cyst can continue to grow in my body, and I have to deal with the pain (and the small possibility of a rupture or a torsion) for several more months.

It’s not an ideal situation. The silver lining is that if I do have the surgery in Texas, both sets of our parents will be close enough to help me. Right now, it’s hard, but I believe God has a plan, and someday I will look back on this time and see how He guided me through it.

As for now, I hope to keep blogging. I’m a little slower on responding to comments these days, but I promise I will get to them all. Thank you so much for your encouragement as I go through this season.