The Hardest Post I’ve Ever Written: One Year Later

Hey, friends. I really thought I would be back to blogging on Monday with a moving update, but this move took a lot of me. I sat down to write on Sunday and just didn’t have the energy. Plus, the constant weather changes are giving me intense migraines, so I was forced to take it easy this week. Hopefully, I will be back on Wednesday with a moving update (Monday is book day) because I do want to share how everything went, but today I had a different post I wanted to share.

About a year ago today, I wrote the hardest and most vulnerable piece I have ever published on this blog. To put it into perspective, I never even shared on my personal Facebook page about my diagnosis. I’m just a private person, though I must say this situation has really helped me open up in other parts of my life. Honestly, I had always imagined if I was ever faced with a diagnosis like this, I would completely freak out. I struggle with severe anxiety, and the situation was filled with so many unknowns.

What I didn’t expect to feel was peace. I’m not going to lie; there were hard days. Most of them involved Chicago finally having beautiful weather, and me being unable to walk to a restaurant on our block. Still, with all the worst-case scenarios thrown my way, I truly felt that everything would be OK.

I believe we go through trials like these for a reason. Last year was a hard year, but after going through it, I am filled with so much joy and hope for the future. It’s just so much easier to appreciate the little things, like being able to walk to the shops and restaurants near us. I was apprehensive about moving back to Texas, but now I know it’s the best thing that could have happened. I didn’t love being in a situation where I needed constant help, but this year I learned to let go and accept help from my wonderful family and friends when I needed it.

Of course, I don’t want to paint a completely rosy picture of those post-recovery months. I’m dealing with a chronic illness that will likely affect me for the rest of my life. A diagnosis is both a blessing and a curse. It’s nice to know the pain I felt all the years before wasn’t a result of me “being weak” or “low-pain tolerance.” In the very back of my mind, there is always a bit of a fear of developing another endometrioma, but I refuse to let that fear control my life.

I’m forever thankful for the blogging community and your support during those difficult months. I was beyond grateful to receive all your messages as I was waiting for a surgery date and your prayers and encouragements during recovery. Even when blogging gets tough (like it has been lately), I never want to quit because of how much I enjoy connecting with everyone. If you are ever struggling with something, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I know what it’s like and would love to encourage you the way so many encouraged me.